just one day

"We are born in one day.
We die in one day.
We can change in one day.
And we can fall in love in one day.
Anything can happen in just one day."

- Gayle Forman, Just One Day

happy

Happy - Marina and the Diamonds

It felt so sweet

It felt so strong

It made me feel like

I belonged

And all the sadness inside me

Melted away

Like I was free

snow

White. Fluffy. Cold. Wet. 

Snow.

 Everything is covered in a soft blanket of snow and the scene before me transformed, making it a magical land full of wonder and beauty. 

Something seems so peaceful about that.

 Though delicate, snow is icy and cold.

And every snowflake gently falling is unique and beautiful in its own way, just like every human. 

When the Christmas lights are on, I find myself smiling. Life has been so dull and busy that I haven't been feeling festive and joyful. 

Christmas is just around the corner, 

and it gives me a bit of hope. 

Hope that things will work out. 

Hope that the last month of the year will make a difference. 

Hope that I will start the new year with goals and making it right. 

Hope that it will be a good one. 

I just have to believe.

madness

I've been stuck.

It's like I've been going in circles and I'm back to where I started.

It feels like I'm going nowhere. No where close to where I want to be.

I just want to be happy. To be free.

I don't know where to find that, but I hope I get there soon.

I just don't know what's good anymore.

I'm constantly overthinking the possibilities, to the point of madness.

Because I am mad. Mad at myself.

I can't deny that I'm mad at the world too. I wonder, why me?

My thoughts scare me. I need to stop.

All I just want is for this to work.

And I am so desperate for answers. 

My obsession with finding out the answers became unhealthy.

I was paranoid. 

I was scared.

I felt nothing and I felt everything.

I just need to know what is happening.

I fear uncertainty. That is one of the worst feelings.

The feeling of not knowing something.

And you can't do anything about it.

The answers will come eventually.

I just need to be patient with myself.

becoming you

This is a video that really inspired me after watching this. So much that I wanted to write a post about it. Troye Sivan is a youtuber and makes awesome videos. You should check him out! <3

I think becoming yourself may be the scariest thing that every person goes through. We are given this one life and we go through this long journey to find out who we are. Who we really are. We might all be blind because your true self is the most beautiful self of you. I hate the idea that people want to become someone they're not. We are obsessed with the idea that we're not good enough, not pretty enough. And honestly, I've felt those feelings more than enough. If you want to do the things that you've always wanted to do, then do it. Who cares what people think. You do you. Do the things that others are too scared to do. 

"Let yourself be the person you secretly wanted to be." 

- Troye Sivan