madness

I've been stuck.

It's like I've been going in circles and I'm back to where I started.

It feels like I'm going nowhere. No where close to where I want to be.

I just want to be happy. To be free.

I don't know where to find that, but I hope I get there soon.

I just don't know what's good anymore.

I'm constantly overthinking the possibilities, to the point of madness.

Because I am mad. Mad at myself.

I can't deny that I'm mad at the world too. I wonder, why me?

My thoughts scare me. I need to stop.

All I just want is for this to work.

And I am so desperate for answers. 

My obsession with finding out the answers became unhealthy.

I was paranoid. 

I was scared.

I felt nothing and I felt everything.

I just need to know what is happening.

I fear uncertainty. That is one of the worst feelings.

The feeling of not knowing something.

And you can't do anything about it.

The answers will come eventually.

I just need to be patient with myself.