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November 27, 2014

madness

I've been stuck.
It's like I've been going in circles and I'm back to where I started.
It feels like I'm going nowhere. No where close to where I want to be.
I just want to be happy. To be free.
I don't know where to find that, but I hope I get there soon.
I just don't know what's good anymore.
I'm constantly overthinking the possibilities, to the point of madness.
Because I am mad. Mad at myself.
I can't deny that I'm mad at the world too. I wonder, why me?
My thoughts scare me. I need to stop.
All I just want is for this to work.
And I am so desperate for answers. 
My obsession with finding out the answers became unhealthy.
I was paranoid. 
I was scared.
I felt nothing and I felt everything.
I just need to know what is happening.
I fear uncertainty. That is one of the worst feelings.
The feeling of not knowing something.
And you can't do anything about it.
The answers will come eventually.
I just need to be patient with myself.

7 comments:

  1. This explains exactly how I've been feeling lately. *sigh* Don't worry, you're not only. <3

    xx Mackenzie

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Mackenzie! And that makes me feel a lot better that I'm not alone in this. :)

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  2. This is quite possibly the most relate-able post I've ever had the pleasure of reading!

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  3. You are such a writer. And when I say writer, I mean writer.
    The way you play with words...it's beautiful.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Tane!! You have no idea how happy I am with your lovely comments.
      Thank you. <3

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  4. Great blog!

    Would you like to follow each other?
    http://outsidethewardrobe.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete