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December 20, 2016

it's over

I wanted you to fight for me. I gave you so many chances. One too many. Every chance, I was hoping you'd love me. I had faith in you. But two years is a very long time to not have it figured out. I wanted to know what I meant to you. If you'd really love me and wanted me in your life, you'd made sure I know that. You would do anything to keep me by your side, no matter what. I did love you. And I probably still do. You have showed me new things in life that I have never tried. And I will never forget those amazing adventures we had. From exploring the waterfalls and hiking trails in Hamilton, exploring and eating tasty foods in Montreal, going to Ripley's Aquarium and getting lost in Toronto, going camping for the first time with you and your family, going to Halloween Haunt at Canada's Wonderland and getting scared with you, the many lazy days just cuddling and watching TV shows with you, and freezing our faces off at Niagara Falls in the middle of winter.

But that love feels one sided and it feels like I gave you the love I wish you had given me. I wanted the man I'd hoped you would become. A partner that unconditionally loves me.

And honestly, I would never think that this would happen. That we would be broken up. When we first started dating, we had this deep bond and connection that I never shared with anyone else before. And I thought to myself, we're gonna make it. He's the one. But your feelings of love is totally different from mine and I just don't quite understand you. I'd hope that I would be the one to show you what love is and that you as a human being need love. We all need love. I really do genuinely hope you do find love one day. And when you do, I hope you find pieces of me that you'll regret losing.

3 comments:

  1. Hello! I love your blog so much; you have a really beautiful design! First of all I'm so sorry, I understand how you feel and I know you're going through a hard time right now but I promise it gets better. I have followed your blog because I think it’s so good!!! I would love it if you had a look at my blog; I’m a very passionate teenage blogger but I’m quite new and really need the support! Perhaps we could become friends? Thank you so much // Jeani xxx www.jeanithoughts.blogspot.co.uk

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  2. Cindy- as always, you leave me standing back in awe. Your words,they are felt deeply, breaking through the surface of my heart. It's pain that can be touched, pain that can be read. Pain I know is there. Pain I can relate to. But it is also so, so beautiful. Keep on writing the way you do. And remember that pain fades.

    -T
    x

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