madness

I've been stuck.

It's like I've been going in circles and I'm back to where I started.

It feels like I'm going nowhere. No where close to where I want to be.

I just want to be happy. To be free.

I don't know where to find that, but I hope I get there soon.

I just don't know what's good anymore.

I'm constantly overthinking the possibilities, to the point of madness.

Because I am mad. Mad at myself.

I can't deny that I'm mad at the world too. I wonder, why me?

My thoughts scare me. I need to stop.

All I just want is for this to work.

And I am so desperate for answers. 

My obsession with finding out the answers became unhealthy.

I was paranoid. 

I was scared.

I felt nothing and I felt everything.

I just need to know what is happening.

I fear uncertainty. That is one of the worst feelings.

The feeling of not knowing something.

And you can't do anything about it.

The answers will come eventually.

I just need to be patient with myself.

becoming you

This is a video that really inspired me after watching this. So much that I wanted to write a post about it. Troye Sivan is a youtuber and makes awesome videos. You should check him out! <3

I think becoming yourself may be the scariest thing that every person goes through. We are given this one life and we go through this long journey to find out who we are. Who we really are. We might all be blind because your true self is the most beautiful self of you. I hate the idea that people want to become someone they're not. We are obsessed with the idea that we're not good enough, not pretty enough. And honestly, I've felt those feelings more than enough. If you want to do the things that you've always wanted to do, then do it. Who cares what people think. You do you. Do the things that others are too scared to do. 

"Let yourself be the person you secretly wanted to be." 

- Troye Sivan